Palimpsest: work in progress, public for review. The reasons on the Tower pages are an invented test fixture. The reasons on the Pyrewood pages are the plans and summaries Project 2 wrote for that story. Where a version shows “Rationale unrecorded”, no reason was written down.
III. The Man Who Wrote It Down
Version 4 of 4 · first seen 2026-10-17 13:01
- Version 12026-10-15 23:41
first version - Version 22026-10-15 23:50
pipeline - Version 32026-10-16 16:46
clarity, fact - Version 42026-10-17 13:01
editorial, world
Types of change in this version
5 recorded changes; 18 marked passages in the text, 10 of them with no recorded reason.
Click a type to show only those changes in the text.
What changed and why
Rework chapter 03 for the new shape agreed with Project 1: chapters easier to follow around Percy, continuity fixes from Project 1's brief. (edit)
editorial change 1 (passage not located in the text)
Percy's journal is a journal and not a ledger; the section is tightened and the gnome-dislike and the flyer notice are added, following Project 1's brief.
was: His name was [[percy-spamchop|Percy Spamchop]], and he was new at being dead. He had woken in Deathknell not long ago with a head that had been left out in the weather, and he was still working out what it could and couldn't be trusted with. He knew how to speak, and how to write a tidy line. Of who he had been he had almost nothing: a handful of small things that came back one at a time and would not be hurried, and a blank around them that he preferred not to look at directly. He was unsure of most of it and had settled on dryness as the best way to be unsure in company." / "He was a warlock, and a good deal more comfortable with shadow than with most people. He spoke as though he had been well schooled, which was one of the things he could not account for, and he kept a ledger hand, small and upright, which did not change when he was frightened and which he therefore trusted more than his face. He liked fish and fishing and could not have said why. Two steps behind him, patient and literal, came [[mezzlos|Mezzlos]], his voidwalker. Mezzlos disliked mages, and the Magic Quarter, and anything that smelled of either. He had never once disliked Percy, which Percy had noticed and not mentioned." / "The trouble was the thread between *where I am* and *how I got here*, which had gone thin in the waking. He could walk a corridor and have it fold away behind him. So he wrote things down: the turns first, then the days, then everything else. It had started as a way of finding his way back. By now it was how the man walking and the man who had woken up stayed the same man." / "He had already had two days worth keeping. There is the long afternoon in the Rogues' Quarter, *Asking the Way*, and a fight in [[pyrewood-village|Pyrewood Village]], where he died four times and stayed after he no longer had a reason to, *Still in Pyrewood*. Both are told elsewhere. This is the day his book ran out.
now: His name was [[percy-spamchop|Percy Spamchop]], and he was new at being dead. He had woken in Deathknell not long ago with a head that had been left out in the weather, and he was still working out what it could and couldn't be trusted with. He knew how to speak, and how to write a tidy line. Of who he had been he had almost nothing: a handful of small things that came back one at a time, and a blank around them that he preferred not to look at directly. He had settled on dryness as the best way to be unsure in company." / "He was a warlock, and a good deal more comfortable with shadow than with most people. He spoke as though he had been well schooled, which was one of the things he could not account for, and he wrote a clerk's hand, small and upright, which did not change when he was frightened and which he therefore trusted more than his face. He liked fish and fishing and could not have said why. He had lately discovered that he disliked gnomes, which he had not known about himself, and which he found, on examination, rather agreeable. Two steps behind him, patient and literal, came [[mezzlos|Mezzlos]], his voidwalker. Mezzlos disliked mages, and the Magic Quarter, and anything that smelled of either. He had never once disliked Percy, which Percy had noticed and not mentioned." / "The trouble was the thread between *where I am* and *how I got here*, which had gone thin in the waking. So he kept a journal: the turns first, then the days, then everything else. It had started as a way of finding his way back. By now it was how the man walking and the man who had woken up stayed the same man." / "He had already had two days worth keeping: the long afternoon in the Rogues' Quarter, and a fight in [[pyrewood-village|Pyrewood Village]], where he died four times and stayed after he no longer had a reason to. Both are told elsewhere. This is the day his journal ran out.
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
editorial change 2 (v4-c2, v4-c2b, v4-c2c) jump to the passage ↓
Part of the same rework of this chapter; see the first change.
was: The lesson took as long as lessons do. When it was over he wrote four lines of it in the book, and found that he was writing them on the last clean page. He turned back through the rest, page after page of small upright hand, and then forward again to the blank leaf and the inside of the cover." / "He looked at it for a time. He would need another book. It was not the kind of thing the Undercity sold.
now: The lesson took as long as lessons do. When it was over he wrote four lines of it in the journal, and found that he was writing them on the last clean page. He looked at the inside of the cover for a time. He would need another book. It was not the kind of thing the Undercity sold.
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
editorial change 3 (v4-c3, v4-c3b) jump to the passage ↓
Part of the same rework of this chapter; see the first change.
was: Percy did not hear voices. He had checked, at intervals. But he read the rest of it, because he read everything now, and he read the small print first, a habit that had arrived with the hand and the fish and without any account of itself. *Writes it down before it's taken. Knows your name, even if you don't. Quiets the whispers.* Free to begin. And at the bottom, very small: *Cost to be advised, then advised again.*
now: Percy did not hear voices. He had checked, at intervals. But he read the small print first, a habit that had arrived with the hand and the fish and without any account of itself. *Free to begin.* And at the bottom, very small: *Cost to be advised, then advised again.*
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
world change 4 (v4-c4) jump to the passage ↓
Part of the same rework of this chapter; see the first change.
now: Beside it, an older notice had curled at the corners: *Lost: one arm. Left. Reward: the arm.*
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
world change 5 (v4-c5, v4-c5b) jump to the passage ↓
Part of the same rework of this chapter; see the first change.
was: Percy looked at the woman on the poster, with her arms round the thing and her eyes closed. Then he looked at his own book, one leaf from its end, and the days in it that he had worked out for himself how to keep. A book that remembered who you were, and did it before it was taken: he wanted that rather badly, and he knew it, and he had stopped pretending otherwise somewhere around *Knows your name*.
now: "[It claims to know your name,]{say=mezzlos}" said Mezzlos. "[That is what they all say, in the first week.]{say=mezzlos}"" / ""[Who all?]{say=percy-spamchop}"" / ""[Things that want something.]{say=mezzlos}"" / "Percy looked at the woman on the poster, with her arms round the thing and her eyes closed. Then he looked at his own journal, one leaf from its end. A book that remembered who you were, and did it before it was taken: he wanted that rather badly, and he knew it, and he had stopped pretending otherwise somewhere around *Knows your name*.
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
unlisted v4-u1 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: time and would not be hurried,
now: time,
unlisted v4-u2 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: was unsure of most of it and
unlisted v4-u3 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: kept a ledger
now: wrote a clerk's
unlisted v4-u4 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
now: He had lately discovered that he disliked gnomes, which he had not known about himself, and which he found, on examination, rather agreeable.
unlisted v4-u5 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: He could walk a corridor and have it fold away behind him. So he wrote things down:
now: So he kept a journal:
unlisted v4-u6 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: keeping. There is
now: keeping:
unlisted v4-u7 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: Asking the Way,
unlisted v4-u8 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: to, Still in Pyrewood.
now: to.
unlisted v4-u9 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
was: book
now: journal
unlisted v4-u10 jump to the passage ↓
Rationale unrecorded.
now: "It claims to know your name," said Mezzlos. "That is what they all say, in the first week." "Who all?" "Things that want something."
The feedback behind this edit
Feedback record 2026-10-17 12:57, given 2026-10-17 12:33. The words are as given.
| Item | What was said | What was done |
|---|---|---|
| G1 | "9 chapters is fine as long as the chapters themselves are shrinking a little. The main areas where it can still shrink is where it's a bit confusing around Percy." | changed: change 1, change 2, change 3, change 4, change 5 |
| G2 | "Please go ahead with the chapter 1 and 2 rewrites" | no decision recorded in this plan |
| G3 | "ive been working with p1 on the review process. please see this brief and edited version of woelcome to the machine." (The brief and edited version were attached; the requests used are the brief's notes on shape, character, continuity and prose.) | changed: change 1, change 2, change 3, change 4, change 5 |
When, and what prompted it
Plan of change written: 2026-10-17 (accepted 2026-10-17 12:57)
New version published: 2026-10-17 13:01
After-edit summary accepted 2026-10-17 13:04
Prompted by: feedback record of 2026-10-17 and Project 1's brief for Welcome to the Machine (as written in the plan)
After the edit
Objective met: yes
Suggestions for a future edit:
- "Lost: one arm. Left. Reward: the arm." is a gag from Project 1's edited version and has no later payoff; if it should return, it needs a place in a later chapter.
Reflection, written afterwards:
Chapter III is 7,699 bytes against 7,748, so it is no longer. Percy's book is now a journal throughout, his hand is a clerk's hand, and the gnome dislike is introduced here so that the later list in chapter IV needs no explanation. The change 1 quote also carries the opening paragraphs unchanged; only the Percy paragraphs differ.
Comment on this version. Select words in the text below to mark them. Marks are sent to the reviewer with the form at the foot of the page.
Script has not run (if you can read this, scripts were not kept).
Key to the types
- unclear
- Hard to follow: the reader cannot tell what is meant or what is happening
- thin
- Thin or flat: it needs more detail, texture or explanation
- hints
- Hints instead of saying: a small gesture stands in for a meaning the writer should state, such as he read it twice
- adds-nothing
- A line that adds nothing new, or a tail that deflates or restates what came before
- comparison
- A comparison or analogy that does not hold up when you look at it
- feelings
- Feelings, intent or sentience given to an object, a place or the weather
- knows-too-much
- A character or the narrator knows something they could not know
- repeats
- Repeats itself: the same phrase, idea or device used again
- wrong-fact
- A plain factual or lore error
- contrived
- Feels arranged to make the story work
- loaded-word
- A weighty word such as nobody, truth or never used to sound meaningful, not to say something
The text
Showing only editorial changes.
Showing only world changes.
Preview
III. The Man Who Wrote It Down
Above Plot 38 the lamp in the study grew small, then the street, then the hill, and then the whole of Founder's Point, which had never been large.
Past the point where the Arcanum would have been, if anyone had been looking for it, the ridge fell away, and then the continent, until the whole world was a small bright thing turning in the dark. Hanging beside it, so close that the two almost touched, was another that looked very like it: the older one, as it had been before anyone rebuilt it. The view slid sideways across the gap, the way a hand slides from one page of an atlas to the next, and then went down.
It came down into a world drawn with a broader brush. The trees were a trunk and a round of leaf, the hills had soft corners, the stone had no grain, only the idea of one, and the colours were laid on thick and few, as if by someone with a great deal of world to cover and one afternoon to do it. Past a certain distance everything went to haze.
Stormwind went by underneath, all grey stone and flags, the living being confident in bulk. Then forest, then marsh, then a long cold stretch of country where the colours seemed chosen by someone who had given up on them. North, north, north, as far as the map would go, into Tirisfal Glades. In the Undercity beneath the ruins of Lordaeron stood a Forsaken in a cloth robe, holding his place in a small plain book with one finger.
His name was Percy Spamchop, and he was new at being dead. He had woken in Deathknell not long ago with a head that had been left out in the weather, and he was still working out what it could and couldn't be trusted with. He knew how to speak, and how to write a tidy line. Of who he had been he had almost nothing: a handful of small things that came back one at a time and would not be hurried,time, and a blank around them that he preferred not to look at directly. He was unsure of most of it and had settled on dryness as the best way to be unsure in company.
time and would not be hurried,
time,
was unsure of most of it and
He was a warlock, and a good deal more comfortable with shadow than with most people. He spoke as though he had been well schooled, which was one of the things he could not account for, and he kept a ledgerwrote a clerk's hand, small and upright, which did not change when he was frightened and which he therefore trusted more than his face. He liked fish and fishing and could not have said why. He had lately discovered that he disliked gnomes, which he had not known about himself, and which he found, on examination, rather agreeable. Two steps behind him, patient and literal, came Mezzlos, his voidwalker. Mezzlos disliked mages, and the Magic Quarter, and anything that smelled of either. He had never once disliked Percy, which Percy had noticed and not mentioned.
kept a ledger
wrote a clerk's
He had lately discovered that he disliked gnomes, which he had not known about himself, and which he found, on examination, rather agreeable.
The trouble was the thread between where I am and how I got here, which had gone thin in the waking. He could walk a corridor and have it fold away behind him. So he wrote things down:So he kept a journal: the turns first, then the days, then everything else. It had started as a way of finding his way back. By now it was how the man walking and the man who had woken up stayed the same man.
He could walk a corridor and have it fold away behind him. So he wrote things down:
So he kept a journal:
He had already had two days worth keeping. There iskeeping: the long afternoon in the Rogues' Quarter, Asking the Way, and a fight in Pyrewood Village, where he died four times and stayed after he no longer had a reason to, Still in Pyrewood.to. Both are told elsewhere. This is the day his bookjournal ran out.
keeping. There is
keeping:
Asking the Way,
to, Still in Pyrewood.
to.
book
journal
---
The Guardian stood where it had always stood, and so was the one thing in the Undercity that Percy could find without writing it down. Percy stopped in front of it and waited, with Mezzlos two steps behind.
What are you looking for? said the Guardian, which was the only question it ever put to anyone.
"My instructor," said Percy. "Richard Kerwin. In the Temple of the Damned."
It pointed. There was no flourish in it. An arm, an open hand, a direction so exact that he did not trouble to write it down.
He followed it out through the ring and into the Magic Quarter. Mezzlos stopped at the threshold of the Temple and sat down, as he did on principle, and said that he would remember the way out. Percy went in alone.
Richard Kerwin did not look up at once. When he did, it was with the weary courtesy of a man who has taught the same lesson to a great many people who had it coming.
"Wise," said Kerwin, "that you humble yourself before me."
"Quite," said Percy.
The lesson took as long as lessons do. When it was over he wrote four lines of it in the book,journal,↑2 next↓ and found that he was writing them on the last clean page. He turned back through the rest, page after page of small upright hand, and then forward again to the blank leaf andlooked at↑2 next↓ the inside of the cover.
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
book,
journal,
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
turned back through the rest, page after page of small upright hand, and then forward again to the blank leaf and
looked at
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
cover. He looked at it
cover
He looked at itcover↑2 next↓ for a time. He would need another book. It was not the kind of thing the Undercity sold.
---
On the way back, by the foot of the stairs in the Trade Quarter, where the accounts are kept, someone had pinned a notice to a post.
It was a good notice. It had a Forsaken woman on it, drawn with some tenderness, holding a thick book against her chest while a handful of pale green skulls drifted round her head like smoke. Across the top, in a black gothic hand:
STILL HEAR VOICES? GET BETTER ONES.
And under it: The Arcanum Journal. It remembers who you were, so you don't have to.
The notice at the foot of the stairs in the Trade Quarter. [Picture description: A weathered notice pinned to a wooden post against green-lit stone, headed Still Hear Voices? Get Better Ones. A skeletal woman hugs a thick ornate book while pale green skulls drift around her head. Four lines surround her: Writes it down before it's taken, Knows your name even if you don't, Quiets the whispers, Free to begin. Small print runs along the foot of the sheet.]
Percy did not hear voices. He had checked, at intervals. But he read the rest of it, because he read everything now, and he read the ↑3 next↓small print first, a habit that had arrived with the hand and the fish and without any account of itself. Writes it down before it's taken. Knows your name, even if you don't. Quiets the whispers. Free to begin.Free to begin.↑3 next↓ And at the bottom, very small: Cost to be advised, then advised again.
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
rest of it, because he read everything now, and he read the
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
Writes it down before it's taken. Knows your name, even if you don't. Quiets the whispers. Free to begin.
Free to begin.
He had no idea where he had learned to distrust a price that has not been said aloud. He distrusted it all the same.
Beside it, an older notice had curled at the corners: Lost: one arm. Left. Reward: the arm.
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
Beside it, an older notice had curled at the corners: Lost: one arm. Left. Reward: the arm.
↑4 next↓Mezzlos came up beside him and read the word Arcanum, which was printed on it four times. "That is a mage's word," he said.
"It is a book," said Percy.
"It is a mage's book."
"It claims to know your name," said Mezzlos. "That is what they all say, in the first week."
"It claims to know your name," said Mezzlos. "That is what they all say, in the first week." "Who all?" "Things that want something."
"Who all?"
"Things that want something."
Percy looked at the woman on the poster, with her arms round the thing and her eyes closed. Then he looked at his own book,journal,↑5 one leaf from its end, and the days in it that he had worked out for himself how to keep.end.↑5 A book that remembered who you were, and did it before it was taken: he wanted that rather badly, and he knew it, and he had stopped pretending otherwise somewhere around Knows your name.
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
book,
journal,
answers feedback G1, G3 (see the feedback behind this edit)
end, and the days in it that he had worked out for himself how to keep.
end.
He took the notice down, folded it in four, and put it in his sleeve.
"I should like one of those," he said.
"It is a mage's book," said Mezzlos.
"Then we shall keep it away from mages."
Mezzlos said nothing in a way that carried, and followed him up the stairs.
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